PolySciFi Blog

After the election, rednecks are getting some attention in the foreign press. The Mirror writes:

Were I a Kerry voter, though, I'd feel deep anger, not only at them returning Bush to power, but for allowing the outside world to lump us all into the same category of moronic muppets.

The self-righteous, gun-totin', military lovin', sister marryin', abortion-hatin', gay-loathin', foreigner-despisin', non-passport ownin' red-necks, who believe God gave America the biggest dick in the world so it could urinate on the rest of us and make their land "free and strong."

Were I in a fisking mood, I might give a detailed response pointing out all the logical flaws and erroneous assumptions that suffuse the whole piece - accusing others of being self-righteous in a self-righteous diatribe, despising a group of foreigners labeled as foreigner-despisin' (a categorization I would disagree with for some reason, though in all honesty I don't like the French, but that's not without reason), "urinating" on a group while accusing them of "urinating" on you (another point I would disagree with)... you get the picture.

Others are more sanguine about rednecks, recognize rednecks as the Scots-Irish and are aware of the limits of redneck interest in the world.

Here is the saving grace of the Scots-Irish version of American nationalism: it would really rather finish the job quickly in Iraq, and go home and listen to Roy Acuff or Hank Williams. [or Gretchen Wilson] It does not like being drawn into the role of imperialist policeman. But anti-Americans should beware of getting what they wish for - living without the Americans may prove worse than living with them.

As a culture based on self-reliance and Mosaic rules of social conduct, Scots-Irish American nationalism cannot comprehend societies based on clientelism and endemic personal corruption.

That’s why it does not like the way the United Nations has developed into a talking shop, and why it gets exasperated by the Middle East. The Scots-Irish have given George Bush a mandate: but it says: "Finish the job quickly, or we will let the world stew in its own juice."

I would only differ on that last point slightly. While finishing quickly is important, finishing the job in a non-half-ass way is even more important. As an example, yesterday Fox was interviewing soldiers in Iraq about the election, and one soldier (most soldiers are rednecks, you knew that, right?) said that he was happy Bush had won because he thought Kerry would pull out too soon (bellus interruptus) and then we'll have to come back again in 10 years. Getting home quickly is important, but finishing the job so you don't have to come back is more important.

On a related note and speaking as a redneck/Scots-Irishman, placing a greater emphasis on the process rather than the results is seen as foolish. This is another reason why we've never been enamored with the Middle East Peace Process (Peace in the Middle East is GOOD. Talking about how much you want peace for 40 years without making any real progress is VERY BAD) and why emphasizing management skills over vision is such a nonstarter.

Like most groups, the rednecks have developed their own culture over time, a culture that reflects these views. Here, I am using culture in the sense of:

The customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group.

and not in the sense of:

Intellectual and artistic activity and the works produced by it.

The latter can be manufactured, the former cannot (and Motherwell's work is crap no matter how many people tell me he was a genius).

So what is the redneck culture, then? Well, we are gun-totin', military lovin', and abortion-hatin' (why these are supposed to be bad things is beyond my moronic muppet reasoning abilities). We don't loathe gays, but we don't approve either. We don't despise foreigners (sometime ask a redneck how they feel about the Aussies), we just don't trust those who we feel have betrayed us and recognize that when other countries offer opinions about what we should do, the advice is probably more in their best interests than in our best interests.

I could go on, but I'll let my dad's words summarize redneck culture by quoting from an email he sent me yesterday. (My dad is also a self-styled redneck, which would make him a "moronic muppet" with a PhD working at a university).

You might be a redneck if. . .

it never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God..."

you've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

you still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival." [RamaHanaKwanzMas!]

you bow your head when someone prays.

you stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

you treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.

you've never burned an American flag.

you know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

you respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.

you'd give your last dollar to a friend.

We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of them.

One more point about redneck culture, rednecks also have a sense of humor about ourselves (when meant as such) and this couldn't be a post entitled "redneck nation" if I didn't poke a little fun at rednecks. So here's some pictures my dad sent me a few weeks back.


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