PolySciFi Blog

Wednesday, April 27, 2005


In which I issue an ultimatum to the Lorax

Every morning I wake to discover that a golden shower of pollen has descended on my car. Pollen.com says there's no relief in sight from this tree pollen offensive.

My nose has been running for 5 days straight and laughs off Sudafed. My voice has dropped a couple octaves due to the mucus buildup on my vocal chords. My body aches from sneezing. Today, I've enhanced my chemical defense lineup to include Claritin-D. But as of yet, it's had no effect.

Mr Lorax: Speak TO the trees. I don't (typically) spread my sperm all over the trees. Surely the trees can limit the amount of tree sperm they spread on me, my car, and my house. Mr Lorax, convince the trees of the error in their way, or I may have to take matters into my own hands - possibly rescinding my "no sperm on the trees" policy.


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