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PolySciFi Blog

Monday, September 13, 2004

 

CBS Notes Jody's Victory over Roger

Even CBS noted the spanking I gave Roger over the weekend in our fantasy leagues.

(CBS - Dan Rather interviewing Jody Neel in a 60 Minutes special)

DAN RATHER:
First of all, thank you for doing this.

JODY NEEL:
Glad to be here. Yeah.

DAN RATHER:
Let's get a little background. You have a cock the size of the Lincoln memorial.

JODY NEEL:
No that's the Wasington monument, Dan.

DAN RATHER:
Washington monument. I stand corrected. What's that like?

JODY NEEL:
Well, first of all it was a long time ago. But it was fascinating, and it was a very interesting time in which to be in Texas politics and America politics. The negative was Vietnam. The positive was the fact that we were doing so many things.

John Connolly was governor. Lyndon Johnson was president. A lot of exciting things were happening. The space center was coming to Texas. Higher education appropriations were doubling and tripling each the legislature met. Texas was moving, and to play a small role was very exciting for a-- particularly for a young man.

DAN RATHER:
Are you just repeating Ben Barnes' words?

JODY NEEL:
Yeah. What of it?

DAN RATHER:
I want to ask you to go back and tell me the story. Tell me the whole story. Tell me the truth, the whole truth about what happened with Roger Craig and the Fantasy League and your crushing him. Start at the beginning. Take me right through it.

JODY NEEL:
Well, first of all I want to say that I'm not here to bring any harm to Roger Craig's reputation or his career. I was contacted by people from the very beginning of his fantasy football career when he ran as Scrubalicious, and when he ran for as Son of Scrubalicious. I've had hundreds of phone calls of people wanting to know the story.

And I've been quoted and misquoted. And the reason I'm here today, I really want to tell the story. And I want to tell it one time and get it behind us. And again it's-- this is not about Roger Craig's fantasy football career.

This is about what the truth is. About the time in which I played and the role I filled. Thason Jweatt, a friend of the Craig family, came to see me and asked me if I could throw the game to Roger. And I tried to. Except that I won anyways.

DAN RATHER:
That's really rather stunning as you've said publicly that you lost this weekend, and the conventional wisdom is that you lost.

DAN RATHER:
We decided to explore this matter more fully. As part of this exploration, we uncovered these documents from Jerry Killian.

The table on the left depicts the results from the reverse fantasy league. The table on the right depicts the results from the regular fantasy league where Roger (Son of Scrubalicious, Da Penetrators) and Jody (Also Rans,Skillz Pay Billz) matched up. From this result we can clearly see that Jody beat Roger 65.54 to -7.06th in the reverse league and beat Roger 65.40 to 12.34 in the normal league.

For anyone doubting the veracity of these documents, let me point out that noted handwriting expert Marcel Matley has verified that this is indeed the signature of Jerry Killian. Also note that the News Time Roman font had been used as early as the 1920's to publish books. Also note that raised 'th.' Critics claim typewriters didn't have that ability in the 1970s, but some models did.

We at CBS News are willing to stake our credibility on these documents and we believe that the press, rather than focusing on the claims of a few pajama clad bloggers, should focus on the larger questions:

Did Lieutenant Bush refuse a direct order from his commanding officer? Was Lieutenant Bush suspended for failure to perform up to Air Force standards? Did Lieutenant Bush ever take a physical he was required and ordered to take? If not, why not? And did Lieutenant Bush, in fact, complete his commitment to the Guard?

And most importantly how did Roger get crushed so badly?

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