Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Doing our part for electoral fun
Let me channel the spirit of old Johnny Swift here...
"A Modest Proposal on preventing a repeat of the electoral debacle in Florida, and what happens when an unmotivated Ph.D. student has time on his hands to create something that will be entertaining to himself, if no one else, in obvious mockery of the fact that some people just shouldn't vote."
Hey, at least I didn't go for Daniel Defoe...
This episode all started when my good friend Jody sent this to me.
Of course, never one to let humor that insults someone other than myself rest without at least trying to make my own contribution, I dashed back the following reply:
Never mind that wasting a couple of hours of my time doing this was far more fun than my office hours ever are...
With that in mind, I give you the six-o'clock Muppet News:
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With regard to the growing controversy, the candidates were asked for their comment on this newest voting debacle. We now take you to our field reporter...
First we reached Elmo at his campaign headquarters.
Cookie Monster could not be reached for comment, but released this statement via a spokesman...
Amid questions that elections officials were not prepared for the volume of voters that were confused by the ballot, Commisioner of Elections The Count was asked to comment on just who might have been affected by the confusing ballot used on Sesame Street. The commisioner did his best to speculate...
We found a number of voters who were still expressing shock when told of just how the desired result of their votes might not be interprted in the way they wanted...
This same voter was asked just how he'd come to make a mistake in casting his ballot. Clearly exasperated, he could only offer the following reply...
But not all voters seem to be taking the supposed controversy with the same dismay. Although we did have a problem approaching this voter at first...
...once pressed, he did have his own unique perspective on the issue...
But with that said, he seemed disinclined for further comment. Right before disappearing into a trash can, our voter had this to say...
This ends our special report. Back to Telly, in the newsroom...
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Now the only way that you don't find that funny is if you can't imagine something like it really happening. If that's the case, here's a dollar. Go to the empathy store and shop to your heart's content.
Until the next time, remember:
The shortest path between two points is to fold space...
Comments(0) |
Let me channel the spirit of old Johnny Swift here...
"A Modest Proposal on preventing a repeat of the electoral debacle in Florida, and what happens when an unmotivated Ph.D. student has time on his hands to create something that will be entertaining to himself, if no one else, in obvious mockery of the fact that some people just shouldn't vote."
Hey, at least I didn't go for Daniel Defoe...
This episode all started when my good friend Jody sent this to me.
Of course, never one to let humor that insults someone other than myself rest without at least trying to make my own contribution, I dashed back the following reply:
"Voters turned away for trying to put the round block in the square hole...more as this story develops."Well, now we had something going. You can imagine my amusement when I received the following return volley:
"When informed of numerous unexpected votes for none, further outrage was expressed as many voters thought they had voted for Elmo in a referendum on Cookie Monster or Elmo..."Now the only thing I'm more prone to do than jump in on the chance for some good fun at someone else's expense is to really try to do it over the top. I commented to Jody at the time that I probably could have finished a Ph.D. in the time it took me to research and write what you're about to read. (NTAIARTTBW.) But in this case, serious study had to take a back seat to real satire, and not just any satire. Satire that included out-of-context quotes taken from the gold standard of children's television programming: Sesame Street.
Never mind that wasting a couple of hours of my time doing this was far more fun than my office hours ever are...
With that in mind, I give you the six-o'clock Muppet News:
With regard to the growing controversy, the candidates were asked for their comment on this newest voting debacle. We now take you to our field reporter...
First we reached Elmo at his campaign headquarters.
"Elmo say this outrage! Will of people should be clearly determined from intent, even if vote not clear. Elmo demand recount using shifting standard from county to county."When asked to clarify the specifics on how carrying out a recount in this manner would certainly be construed as a partisan exercise in vote-grabbing, the candidate had only this to say...
Cookie Monster could not be reached for comment, but released this statement via a spokesman...
Amid questions that elections officials were not prepared for the volume of voters that were confused by the ballot, Commisioner of Elections The Count was asked to comment on just who might have been affected by the confusing ballot used on Sesame Street. The commisioner did his best to speculate...
We found a number of voters who were still expressing shock when told of just how the desired result of their votes might not be interprted in the way they wanted...
This same voter was asked just how he'd come to make a mistake in casting his ballot. Clearly exasperated, he could only offer the following reply...
But not all voters seem to be taking the supposed controversy with the same dismay. Although we did have a problem approaching this voter at first...
...once pressed, he did have his own unique perspective on the issue...
But with that said, he seemed disinclined for further comment. Right before disappearing into a trash can, our voter had this to say...
This ends our special report. Back to Telly, in the newsroom...
Now the only way that you don't find that funny is if you can't imagine something like it really happening. If that's the case, here's a dollar. Go to the empathy store and shop to your heart's content.
Until the next time, remember:
The shortest path between two points is to fold space...
Comments(0) |
